Life and Times

Before this, I actually perceived subtlety as being weak. You know. My virtues in life were on being aggressive. Being on the offense. Speaking your mind. Asserting character. Fighting for what you believe in. Getting what you want. Gaining recognition and Showing Pride.

But it seems it’s no formula. I now believe that real strength is not always passive at all. Rather displayed for everyone to see, strength should just be observed. The dictionary describes it as the “refinement of reasoning” and if there’s something good to come out from these past tumultuous weeks, I am learning to be subtle. There is assurance in it.

I stress myself trying to keep the balance that I want. Maybe I was looking towards the “future” too much that I haven’t given the present enough attention. Maybe I’m not working as hard as I should be (or that I am working too much). Maybe because I try to grasp things only with idealism, and that now I end up flailing. Maybe there are things that I chose to forget that needs closure first. Or maybe I’m just being to hard on myself, trying to be in three places at the same time, being a different person as who the moment requires. I am talking about my life, and how it’s affected. By them, by this and by that.

I need to lose the balance and climb a ladder instead. One step at a time, one thing after the other. I exactly know what to do and when to do it. All is just a phase.

April 3 marked my first year at US Auto Parts. Time went so fast. It’s as if it was just yesterday when then clean-cut Tj arrived at the company doorsteps.

Back then the office looked like a security agency. The walls of the 6th floor were wobbly enough that if punched, the cracked wood would reveal a striving termite metropolis. Down at the first floor where my department is, things were like the twilight zone. Sometimes the air from the a/c would freeze you to death, sometimes it burns your scalp. Fume from the comfort room can be so toxic that the last visitor would not be able to make it back to his/her seat. There were only a few employees to accord to. Some of them have already gone, some remained.

A lot of things has changed since then.

The 6th floor pantry now houses our NBA 2K8 Xbox wars which are waged in front of Samsung Plasma Screen. I’m pretty sure there are no more termites around, ultra-modern furniture is quite a tough chew. The wind doesn’t blow four seasons anymore, only but a comfortable atmosphere weathers us. US Auto Parts is now a well respected in-house BPO company. And perhaps the biggest change that happened, our department expanded. New faces were welcomed, new bonds were formed.

I am a witness to year that has passed. If I look at my co-worker’s faces right now, I can see the changes that has happened to them. It’s all great, but you know what? Some of them haven’t changed a bit! These people are exactly the same the way they were twelve months ago. For better or for worse, I don’t care. Sometimes what matters is that they’re here, and that we can turn to them for being exactly who you accepted them to be, at work and in person.

+++

Back then you were reading Half the World Away, now it’s Life and Times. Have I changed? If someone has an answer, please don’t bother to tell. May or may not, all that matters is that we’re here. For better or for worse, all that matters is that there’s always another year. There is growth for sure, always, as time goes by.