8th Italian Film Fest at the Shangri-la: Mi Amico, Cinema Abbondanza!

Saluti douchebags (greetings douchebags). The Italian Film Fest is here once again at the bestest mall in the world, the Shangri-la Plaza, the mall wherein you could put me in a blindfold and I’d still manage to blah blah blah. Ok you know what happened to me at the last Cinema Europa? I was only able to watch 2 films! A LOT of people lined up the festival EVERY FREAKING DAY of the festival and I always end up empty handed! Figlio di un travestito subdolo! (son of a sneaky transvestite). Only 2 films, imagine that. And even with my film festival survival guide, I wasn’t prepared for the overwhelming attendance especially during the prime hours of 4pm to 9pm. It is quite frustrating. So gimme a minute here and let me just update that guide with something I’ve recently learned:

Remember when I said in my film festival survival guide that tickets are given 3o minutes before schedule? Well screw that. Be there 1 hour before the screening time because, ahahahaha you bastard, YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY film lover in the Philippines. I mean who do you think you are? You just can’t eat dinner at some restaurant and expect to be handed a ticket that easy. You can’t just stroll along the mall holding hands with your girlfriend and suddenly decide, “Oh baby, let’s go upstairs, I think it’s time for the movie na.” NO asshole. Life ain’t a cake walk like that no more. And don’t even think of lighting up that post-dinner cigarette and expect to be lounging comfortably inside the cinema soon afterwards. NO. At the very least, be there 1 hour before the time or else you will find yourself scratching your head at the end of a long serpentine line with your girlfriend giving you that dreaded “see I told you I was right” look. Worse, you find yourself at the end of the these-losers-have-no-tickets-and-are-just-praying-for-empty-seats so-they-can-be-let-in” line. Believe me, you don’t want to be in that line.

Whew! Che ha le natiche sparato su (that got my buttocks fired up). Sorry for the delay, I just had to get that outta my system. So alright. The 8th Italian Film Fest starts tomorrow and check out the festival line-up below.

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CINE EUROPA 12 Manila and FILM FESTIVAL SURVIVAL GUIDE (kind of)

Cine Europa is here once again at the bestest mall in the world, the Shangrila Plaza, the mall wherein you could put me in a blindfold and I’d still manage to:

1. walk straight to Wham! Burger and order meself a bronco Burger
2. use the escalators up to the 4th level balcony and have a smoke
3. locate a clothing store i could never afford, ie: Paul Smith at the 3rd level
4. buy a cellphone at a booth in the food court and have it activated at the Globe branch ground floor
5. head outside to Agave’s Mexican Bar at the Streetscape and drop Cuba Libre and Mango Mojito shots

and

6. by the use of smell find and pet the Siberian Husky guard dog who’s too lethargic to even wag its tail.

Again ALL BLINDFOLDED. Amazing innit? I tell ya, I am always at Shangrila.

Anyway. I’ve seen a lots of great movies at Cine Europa thru the years. La Mome, the Lives of Others, Diving Bell and the Butterly, French Films I never did remember the titles and many more from various Euro countries. This year, Cine Europa 12 has a few gems worth lining up to. Let’s see, as what I’ve researched there’s:

1. The Blind Flyers – an inspiring story of blind kids auditioning for a band.

2. REC – have you seen or have you heard the horror flick QUARANTINE? That is the remake and this is the original. REC scored 95% on the TomatoMeter and im sure you know what that means.

3. Christmas Story – it’s a FINNISH christmas film. and it’s about Papa Santa Claus so.

4. The Wave – modern German filmmakers have a lot to say about their History thru films. Movies like my personal favorites Goodbye Lenin visits the German Unification in a sense of nostalgia and the Lives of Others exposes secrets during cultural and social change. The Wave now tackles Facism, the Nazi regime to be exact, in classroom teacher-student setup in modern day Germany. Definitely THE must-see for me.

5. Any other films in the line up. Here’s the list of movies and their schedules.

Now let me share to you a Shangrila FILM FESTIVAL SURVIVAL GUIDE of some sort:

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New From Michael Moore: CAPITALISM: A LOVE STORY

“Where’s our money?” In a simple one liner, Michael Moore embodies the story of the past two years for most Americans, and perhaps the whole World too. And while people were suffering mild strokes over revenue reports, Michael Moore was already filming the 2nd worst recession in American history (apparently, worst was in the 70’s).

Capitalism: A Love Story  trailer:

Capitalism: A Love Story is definitely a sure-fire hit upon it’s release on October 2 this year. There couldn’t be a better time for Michael Moore, director and producer of three of the top ten highest grossing documentaries of all time, to come up with another controversial documentary about the ongoing recession. It is about MONEY lost and I’m sure everyone wants to find out where did theirs go.

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Now let me ask myself, TJ Cafuir a 26 yr old online marketing employee, a straightforward question. Where did my money go? Hmm. Uhm… Okay… Hmm. I definitely know I won’t find it in the bank so.. Uhm… Hmm… I.. I.. I hope you enjoyed the trailer

Kinatay Film Review by the Guy Who Drank All the Wine

the plot:

In the same vein as his past movies, the director again inflicts blatant Neorealism with his trademark use of handheld camera to capture everyday life as it unfolds. The narrative follows a day to night transition in which the “journey into the darkness” is realized. Dragged into a crime he never wanted to be in, the main character is both witness and instrument to a gruesome murder of a prostitute. Although he detests the act there is pretty much nothing he can do about it. He is caught between financial need versus morality. And at the end of the day, it was easier for decapitation to be stomached than to actually go home with an empty one.

the review:

I would like to say I enjoyed the film but not really. The butcher scene isn’t as appalling and gruesome as I thought it would be. A big letdown because the build up to that scene was excruciatingly slow paced, insinuating a glorious gore fest bound to happen. But no. A few chop chops here and there and that’s it. Protagonist contemplates and moves on, insert few symbolisms here and there and the film ends. Sad to say there is nothing special here. Obviously this is a social commentary, but you know we’re really tired of that. Great casting though. Bad-ass villain John Regala did great.

wise-ass remarks:

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