CINE EUROPA 12 Manila and FILM FESTIVAL SURVIVAL GUIDE (kind of)

Cine Europa is here once again at the bestest mall in the world, the Shangrila Plaza, the mall wherein you could put me in a blindfold and I’d still manage to:

1. walk straight to Wham! Burger and order meself a bronco Burger
2. use the escalators up to the 4th level balcony and have a smoke
3. locate a clothing store i could never afford, ie: Paul Smith at the 3rd level
4. buy a cellphone at a booth in the food court and have it activated at the Globe branch ground floor
5. head outside to Agave’s Mexican Bar at the Streetscape and drop Cuba Libre and Mango Mojito shots

and

6. by the use of smell find and pet the Siberian Husky guard dog who’s too lethargic to even wag its tail.

Again ALL BLINDFOLDED. Amazing innit? I tell ya, I am always at Shangrila.

Anyway. I’ve seen a lots of great movies at Cine Europa thru the years. La Mome, the Lives of Others, Diving Bell and the Butterly, French Films I never did remember the titles and many more from various Euro countries. This year, Cine Europa 12 has a few gems worth lining up to. Let’s see, as what I’ve researched there’s:

1. The Blind Flyers – an inspiring story of blind kids auditioning for a band.

2. REC – have you seen or have you heard the horror flick QUARANTINE? That is the remake and this is the original. REC scored 95% on the TomatoMeter and im sure you know what that means.

3. Christmas Story – it’s a FINNISH christmas film. and it’s about Papa Santa Claus so.

4. The Wave – modern German filmmakers have a lot to say about their History thru films. Movies like my personal favorites Goodbye Lenin visits the German Unification in a sense of nostalgia and the Lives of Others exposes secrets during cultural and social change. The Wave now tackles Facism, the Nazi regime to be exact, in classroom teacher-student setup in modern day Germany. Definitely THE must-see for me.

5. Any other films in the line up. Here’s the list of movies and their schedules.

Now let me share to you a Shangrila FILM FESTIVAL SURVIVAL GUIDE of some sort:

1. Tickets are given 30 minutes before the indicated screen time. If you plan to do a marathon, dash to the ticket booth near the end of the current movie you’re watching, especially if it’s been crap and the next one is a must-see.

2. It’s a ticket a person so no, you cannot get one for your friend who’s stuck in the parking area or who’s still fighting his/her way out the MRT. Although I’ve never tried this, I know I can pull off wearing a wig and fake mustache and fool the ticket lady. But until then, come together as a group to be able to watch a movie as a group. Screw the latecomer.

3. The Shang cinemas only allow food bought from their food bar, and to fair with them, their hotdogs are good and the popcorn just needs a little bit of salt. Feeling juvenile? Yes you can sneeky sneeky your burger and fries inside your bag although you must put on the “I-will-have-my-Military-General-DAD-order-his-criminal-henchmen-to-kill-you-and-your-family-if-you-even-think-of-inspecting-my-bag” look.

4. Don’t even think of using the comfort rooms at the cinema after a film. Waiting in line for your chance at the urinal can cause severe bladder ache which causes erectile dysfunction. Lord knows I don’t want that. Mind you there are a handful of elderly patrons in these festivals and one thing I’ve learned about them is that they can pee for as long as 3 hours straight, a drop every 5 minutes. Do not wait for them to finish. There is a comfort room nearby in the middle of Powerbooks and Vietnamese resto Phoa Ha or Pho Hoa or Po hua or whatever the Phu huck it is.

5. Good seats are for those who are good in waiting. The best seats however are for those who are VIP’s. Unlike your free loading ass, these people are real VIP’s so their seats are really reserved.

6. Add the Festival’s FACEBOOK Event Page

Alright folks, I think were all set. Wait. Did I mention the organizers of Cine Europa are to raffle a trip to Europe? After a film a survey and raffle ticket is given and all you have to do is drop it in the raffle box and pray like you’ve never prayed before and maybe, just maybe with the stroke of Voodoo or Santeria or whatever it is your practicing, you’ll win the free trip. You lucky bastard you. See you at the cinemas!